everybody's going to be happy

yes its another blog involving animals. i have been deemed a modern day beatrix potter due to the amount of animal content my blogs have to offer, but everyone loves animals so i shant stop now!

moments ago, daisy and i had been discussing my love of my cat bailey. i think daisy was trying to insinuate that the love sometimes went too far, but i think she's just jealous that she doesn't have a cat as cool as bailey. "you wanna see my pet duck," daisy proclaimed "well it's dead now." cue laughing fit number one.

so daisy sends me this picture of her duck, clint:


simultaneously i am listening to this song by the kinks. cue laughing fit number two. me and my mum have this concept of song's "looking like" pets. this term means that a song fits well with something, as in the song could be this things soundtrack. its usually funniest when animals are involved, like with this duck - clint.


daisy found this concept a bit perplexing at first. although discovering songs that look like animals should be a spontanious and coincidental event, in order to educate daisy, she sent me images of her pets which i then added soundtracks to. this image following image i accompanied with this song :



daisy then felt comfortable with the concept and attempted her own putting this song to this image:



...laughing fit number three quickly ensued.

and as an extra, here's a song for bloggers that i just danced round my bedroom with bailey to.

love emmie twee

thoroughly fiona

i love it when coincidence appears in the really mundane things in life. like i love when something reminds you of something else and causes other things to happen in a chain reaction. for example today.

this morning i woke up with the worst hair ever so in an attempt to redeem it i wanted to wear my headband with the flower on it to distract from the horror that was the rest of my head. i searched high and low, but alas it was no where to be seen so i got frustrated and flustered and decided to get out my room and clean and tidy the rest of the house to keep my sanity.

usually, i just give the place a quick tidy but today i decided to be thorough, so thorough that i was even going to wash the pile of bath and tea towels that had gathered in the corner of the kitchen. i picked them up and shock horror, a dead frog. i ran round the house screaming, shouting "YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the cats and other general hysteria. i returned to the kitchen, wondering how i'd remove the body without upsetting myself but the frog wasn't where i'd left it. i was greeted with this:

so fiona was returned to the wild. mission accomplished. and incase you're wondering, the aggression from myself at the end was chasing florence's beady eyes away from fiona as she seemed to hoping for round two of "who wants to traumatise another unsuspecting animal?"

the rest of the day carried on. i had calmed down from my headbandless rage of the morning and carried on with the organisation of my bombsite of a room. i stumbled across the mirror we'd used from the setbuild project which had a little picture of a frog painted on it. it looked just like fiona and to mark the occasion, i thought i'd hang the mirror on the wall. i couldn't find the tool box. all i could find was some sticky fixers, which seemed to do the trick. i waited apprehensively, knowing full well the sticky fixers wouldn't last long and the likelyhood of the mirror breaking and landing me another seven years bad luck was quite probable. as it unattached itself i saw it fall slow motion behind my little table. no smash. "how's your luck!?" i thought, as i picked it up still intact. and as if by magic, i pulled the mirror up and dangling on the bottom, stuck to a sticky fixer was my little lost headband. what a happy ending!

i am quite aware that you have probably stopped reading by now or have fallen asleep but it made me laugh. i do love life sometimes.

blog-blog-blog music

love emmie twee

"grown up yet?" "never!!"

officially been a citizen of dirtford again for an entire week now. i've given back to the community in a number of ways:

catching swine flu
recovering

organising my room
living in pjamas
catching up with big brother
bunking the train
walking home barefoot at 9am
baking cupcakes
bidding fairwell to bridie
battling with stag beetles
saving earth worms
fashioning palm trees out of bluetack
crimping my hair
crying at sad films
cuddling cats
blogging
becoming overdrawn

it's fair to say that i needed to do these things to feel like myself again. i feel like i've had a mini detox. i do miss chatham though, in a strange way. i miss that little room i'll never be able to call mine again, but to be honest, it never felt like mine in the first place. it was more of a limbo. still, i'm going to miss having everyone within a couple of stairwells of eachother.

its been a strange old year. the best and worst things of my life have happened. i should've grown up a lot, but it's probably had the reverse effect. my peter pan syndrome has now become severe, i want to stay 20 for the rest of my life.

here's some emotive pictures of my last moments in my room. me and mum attempted to make them appear unposed. i think we failed.

the burglars forgot my bed linen so came back. wankers.

the river, my only friend "...i hate you..." shut up river!!

friends?? - no, they all went home early remember? - oh yeah

top of the blogs

love emmie twee

house of hucknall

it all came out today. i've been continuously probed for weeks by 90's singing sensation mick hucknall about my ethnical background but today i finally broke. the interigation became too much and i realised it was time to stop living a lie about my family's entrance into this country. as you may or may not be aware, my full name is ridiculously long. "emanuella may margherita tondina" points inexplicitly to my being of an italian background, of which mick has persistently questioned. i have felt personally victimised as the trauma of coming here was possibly the worst experience of my life. no i did not come on the back of a lorry. nor did i just overstay my visa. neither did i apply for a student visa.

back home in italy, my family were wig makers by trade. we had a thriving business until we made a fatal error and made one too many ginger wigs. due to the sheer number of unwanted ginger mohawks left over, we hit a finiancial crisis and sought help from uk corperate wig company "house of hucknall". they offered us all the known world. all the gold that we could eat. we believed we were to be moving our business over, setting up in a part of their warehouse and working in partnership. but no. they screwed us over. instead of a warehouse and outlet for selling our ginger wigs, they gave us an italian restaurant and told us our success in the future could only be determined if we worked there and pretended we were the dolmio family.

so there you have it. no more lies. no more deceit. i did not arrive like this.

now scooza me but tai yam off te cooka de pizza.

song for bloggers

love emmie twee

"so long, fair well, aufweidersen today!"

what an emotional old day. at 7.05 tomorrow morning my dear friend bridie catherine patricia mccann will be boarding her plane and leaving for sunny cyprus, one way. and 'ark at me getting all teary about it! she weren't THAT good a friend. gosh. she'll be back in a couple months anyway, knowing her she'll get bored and want a roast off her mum next weekend.

the earlier part of the day was spent looking like snow white and completing a million and one housework tasks INCLUDING baking homemade muffins from scratch. woah yes. here is a picture of my beauties, i think i ate about 8 of them in the end.


i chose the two roundest and least drunk looking muffins and decorated them with pink icing and little metalic multicoloured balls for daisy's birthday and bridie's leaving presents. daisy's had a candle and a obligitary hand made daisy on the side, whereas bridie's turned into more of a lagoon island with a solitary palm tree placed dead centre. i was dead chuffed with the blighters. bailey sat watching like this for the duration of the cake making:



and as a last little bit, i've decided to add a new feature to the end of each blog. just a little song to sum up the events of the day/content of said blog post, whether it be literally true, reminiscent of moments gone or just a bloody good tune. i ain't, as of yet, worked out how to upload mp3s but once i do, i'll be sure to chuck em up here.

song for the bloggers

love emmie twee

the female of the species

simon the stag beetle

the drama for this evening involved my cat florence and every poor unsuspecting little critter in my garden. florence seems to think that our house is not full enough with a mum, a dad, a uni student, a teenage school girl, a siamese cat who thinks he rules the roost and a idiotic kitten who shits herself at any noise or movement. the constant battle to move in half dead garden creatures into our hallway often results in me nearly crying, febi squealing, dad quickly becoming "unavailable" and mum quickly becoming fed up that its her having to deal with the carcass AGAIN.

but this time when florence scuffled through the cat flap with victim number one, crying "ma-o-ral-ral!" (which i believe translates roughly as "i've been a little cunt again") mum and dad were conviniently tucked up in bed, and could not hear me and febi's squeals. so simon the stag beetle latched himself onto a nearby pop sock, which in turn febi swung out the door on the end of a broom whilst we sung "we are sailing" and became a little bit tearful at simons departing. situation sorted. an hour later, "ma-o-ral-ral!". florence decided to try her luck with edith the earth worm.

all this time we thought it was bailey bringing in the "presents". sorry bails. the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

butter wouldn't melt

song for bloggers

love emmie twee

drink. girls, feck off.

i'm sooooo sooooo sorryyyyy

oh dear... in the words of father jack, i'm so so sorry my little blogkins. 3months without so much as a bye or leave is both rude and insensitive. i know, i know, i should've just let you know what i was doing but i was all caught up in the moment and didn't think how it would affect you. and for that, i am truely sorry.

but i'm back now! we can be friends again... right?

whilst you're busy finding it in your heart to forgive me, i'll bring you up to speed. i've finished the first year. its a bit of "WOOO!!! schools out for summer!" but its also equally a bit of "nay :( now everythings gunna change again. i don't want to grow up". i definitely suffer from peter pan syndrome.

i feel like i've just come back from a ridiculously good holiday which, to be honest, the past two weeks have been. me, daisy and kiran stayed at halls till the bitter end and well and truely got our money's worth. its been rather eventful but worth every minute, although i definitely over did it and caught myself a massive heap of swine flu for the last hurdle. i clearly can't handle the party life as much as i'd like to think i can. i'm also owed nearly 60quid for the infamous setbuild project, which my entire group seem to have conviniently forgotten and run off home with. thanks guys!

but anyway, just to let you know i'm still alive and home now. i'll post some nice pictures and videos of uni times in the forseable future, i promise.

and just to reiterate, i'm sorry. here's an upset puppy:


emmie twee x