house of hucknall

it all came out today. i've been continuously probed for weeks by 90's singing sensation mick hucknall about my ethnical background but today i finally broke. the interigation became too much and i realised it was time to stop living a lie about my family's entrance into this country. as you may or may not be aware, my full name is ridiculously long. "emanuella may margherita tondina" points inexplicitly to my being of an italian background, of which mick has persistently questioned. i have felt personally victimised as the trauma of coming here was possibly the worst experience of my life. no i did not come on the back of a lorry. nor did i just overstay my visa. neither did i apply for a student visa.

back home in italy, my family were wig makers by trade. we had a thriving business until we made a fatal error and made one too many ginger wigs. due to the sheer number of unwanted ginger mohawks left over, we hit a finiancial crisis and sought help from uk corperate wig company "house of hucknall". they offered us all the known world. all the gold that we could eat. we believed we were to be moving our business over, setting up in a part of their warehouse and working in partnership. but no. they screwed us over. instead of a warehouse and outlet for selling our ginger wigs, they gave us an italian restaurant and told us our success in the future could only be determined if we worked there and pretended we were the dolmio family.

so there you have it. no more lies. no more deceit. i did not arrive like this.

now scooza me but tai yam off te cooka de pizza.

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love emmie twee